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by Michael Psycho

("There aren't any lyrics, really. This is a comedic skit intended as a separate intro to the song "Lemmings". Those of you who are too young to get hip to this kind of track, Google "Cheech and Chong" or "National Lampoon Radio Hour". Better yet, ask your grandparents if they have those kinds of records next time you're over at their house. If they smoked pot, or still do, they probably have 'em." -MP)
Lemmings 02:46
The little people need another hunk of meat Here's the latest pretty boys all young and cute and sweet They'll get their best hacks to write 'em catchy tunes If they burn out just get another group of goons CHORUS: You couldn't like this song and I'm not sorry You wouldn't buy this song and I won't cry You don't like anything until you're told to You'll just be lemmings 'til you die... They have a stranglehold on all the industry Commercial radio is their sole property If it don't catch the fish each time the net is thrown And line their bank accounts, it's just not good to go
There's more to life than punk rock You're boring, boring, boring, boring Take some classes, read a book You're boring, boring, boring, boring I don't care what bands you've seen I don't care about the fuckin' scene There's more to the world than that More than acting like a fuckin' brat There's more to life than punk rock You're boring, boring, boring, boring Wear some clean clothes, get a job You're boring, boring, boring, boring Just another lame ass fan Seen the same half dozen bands Think I'm fucked up? I don't care You're just a poseur with fucked up hair You're boring, boring, boring You're boring, boring, boring You're boring, boring, boring There's more to life than punk rock You're boring, boring, boring, boring Get the fuck out of my face you shoplifting motherfucker!
Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand Come on in! I'll show you my etchings Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand Have a Dr. Pepper and rum. This stuff used to get us drunk when we were younger! Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand That's very interesting.... Tell me more! Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand Are you losing weight? Well, gee, you look great! Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand Ha ha ha ha ha ha Gee, you're a funny lady. Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand I took this course They said, "Let the girls talk. They want to be noticed." So anyway... Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand I'm in favor of PEACE!!! What's that you say? "Christians to the lions?" Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand Are you getting drunk? Well, maybe you want to crash here... Uh huh, yeah, uh huh I understand
I’m sick and tired of all these rich folks Bitching and moaning about their taxes Like a bunch of fuckin’ babies Like they’re all gonna starve to death We will never be served with the truth Maybe we just need to cut them loose And what’s up with the fuckin’ government Sucking on the dicks of the special interests What the fuck do they think they are They just care about what side the butter’s on And what’s up with the TV news They try to influence how you think They’re just a bunch of overpaid assholes Telling you who got killed today
You tried to play me for your gain You must have thought I was insane Go ahead Play your juvie games Use name calling if you choose But if I am such a loser Then how come you always lose? You thought you had me in a trap You thought you sold me on your crap I won't buy your pitch No, I wouldn't play your game And next time you need to play the victim Bet you'll drop my name Because you're IGNORANT You're ignorant and evil And that's twice as dangerous For everyone who'll cross your path Because you're ignorant Of your own ignorance And that makes it even worse You're more likely to destroy Innocent lives, innocent people Will get hurt by your flaws You won't hold yourself accountible You won't really give a fuck Because you're ignorant Of your own ignorance You don't care You know everything You demand we should bow to you But you're ignorant Of your own ignorance And YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW That's the saddest thing to see That you're ignorant Of your own ignorance If someone puts their trust in you That's just someone to use When someone shows some love to you You play them for a fool If there's any true justice in this world You will crush yourself to death With the weight of your sophistry Because you're ignorant Of your own ignorance The saddest thing is that You think you know more than you really know And you're ignorant Of your own ignorance And you think you know the score But you're just like all the rest Of the greedy social whores Including those that you detest I don't care if you went to college Your refinement is a ruse Because you're ignorant Of your own ignorance
Hi! 02:04
Hi I wrote this song here just for you Because I had to tell the world About what a fuckin’ jerk you are. Who Would ever want to look at you Would ever want to listen to you Would ever want to ever be you. You think That we all should follow you Like you’re some kind of demigod But God wouldn’t be as lame as you are. Yeah you Act like you’ve got some kind of plan But you’re just a pathetic man Who doesn’t have a pot to piss in For brains. Or even one fuckin’ thing to say That makes any sense anyway. Why don’t you kill yourself and spare us? Yeah you You play me like I’m a dumb asshole But at least I’ve got heart and soul Unlike you, whose life is nothing. Yeah you You’re just a waste of your Daddy’s sperm You’re just a waste of time and space You make me want to fuckin’ kill you Yeah you You’re just a waste of your Daddy’s sperm You’re just a waste of time and space You make me want to puke all over you All over you! UUHLLLGGGHHHHAAALLLLUUUPPPBLLLLUUURRGGGHH
Just another face in the crowd, and I'm scheming What I'm gonna do with my life, 'cause I'm dreaming Of a violent overthrow of the country 'Cause it doesn't do a damn thing for me. System of error getting worse every day And people tell me, "Hey, what can you do?" But when I'm off of this plane and I get my wings, Watch out, 'cause I'm coming for you. In and out of one hole after the other, Don't know why I'm still here at all. Ah, but I figure if I postpone the noose or the gun, I may see some of you villians fall. A system of error getting worse every day, And people tell me "Hey, what can you do?" But when I'm off of this plane and I get my wings, Watch out, 'cause I'm coming for you. Running and screaming, Watch it 'cause I'm coming for you. System of error... "...what can you do?" Voices in your head... Stuck inside your head. GIVE UP! GIVE UP! NO! NO! NO! NO! Running and screaming... IT'LL BE GREAT!
She kind of likes her menial job at Denny’s. She puts in her graveyard shift, 8 hours, then back to the residential hotel. A lovely Victorian piece of deterioration with a picturesque view of a swill-soaked alleyway. As she wonders if it’s a good night to score some heroin, she counts her tips and softly makes an appeal to God. Am I there yet? Am I there? Bill ran out of medication this morning. His state medical assistance was cut off last month. He’s starting to hear those voices again, just like when they found him out by the river. Presently, they’re telling him that the CIA knows he’s still got the chip the aliens implanted in his thigh, and the agents have been putting sodium penathol in his tap water. He knows they won’t make him snitch, but then there’s a knock on the door; he thinks it’s a pair of agents come to grill him at last, but actually it’s the landlord and the hotel manager coming to collect the rent. He suddenly runs to his window, leans out and bellows at the top of his lungs. Am I there yet? Am I there? It’s an okay job, as far as jobs paying what he gets paid tend to go. A little puke or piss to clean up once in a while, or a drunk or deadbeat to kick out occasionally, but that’s not too often. He was reading a story in the Weekly World News about how members of the Knights Templar were the ones really in charge of the Trilateralists, the Catholic Church, and the Monkees reunion tour, when the guy in the hooded sweatshirt walked in. There wasn’t even any words, no “stick ‘em up” or anything, the guy just produced a Smith and Wesson .38 and discharged the weapon once in the bartender’s face. At the one crucial last moment frozen in time as the poor kid stared at the seemingly endless tunnel of the handgun’s barrel, the question suddenly and inexplicably entered his head. Am I there yet? Am I there? Giuseppe was hauling ass out of the door of his condominium. Fresh in town from the relocation at the behest of his father, the reputed mob boss Don Jacuzzi, he was the poster boy for the Optimist Society tonight. Hopping like an Olympian over the door of his Ferrari convertible, his mind was clearly fixed upon the evening ahead. It was time to meet for coffee with the freak he’d met through the personals section of the local weekly free newspaper. Nearly maintaining an erection from the anticipation alone, he turned the ignition. BOOM. Ciao baby. Within 2 hours, the FBI, the ATF, the local and the state law enforcement were carefully combing the scene, scooping up microscopic bits of explosive material and Giuseppe as well. Don Jacuzzi received the call late that night. He thanked the agent on the phone, hung up and stared at the Long Island Oceanside. Suddenly, he clutched his chest, and the most beautiful cherubic winged figure came forth from a tunnel of light and held his hand, and suddenly everything seemed all right. Later, at the double funeral of her husband and son, Mrs. Jacuzzi related to friends and relatives that when she entered the room, the Don was just laying there moaning and groaning something that she swore sounded like he was saying…
I wanna be a slut, just like you 'Cause you're my hero, dude At least I'll never be lonely Who cares if I catch an STD Or two or three I wanna be a slut, just like you 'Cause you're my hero, dude I envy the life you've led You get to mess with women's heads And make them think you bared your soul to them It's their fault if they didn't know It was just pretend Just to git ya some I wanna be a slut, just like you 'Cause you're my hero, dude At least I'll never be lonely Who cares if you spread an STD Or two or three
Look away Look away and look the other way Look the other way look away and walk the other way And when they come to you someday to take what you've got I want to hear you whine about how everything came crashing down And those who you elected could do nothing to control them Just look the other way... Look the other way 'cause you know you're really good at it Look the other way 'cause you've been so well trained by your parents As more and more people are kicked to the curb every day More and more people are malnourished every single day More and more children are dying every single day So look the other way So look the other way So look the other way you don't want to be taken advantage of Look the other way your friends and family would disapprove And besides it's too hopeless and you've got your own life to live You've got your own bills to pay and they're all there 'Cause they're just lazy no good deadbeats anyway That's what all your trusted sources say So look the other way Just look the other way Look the other way it's much easier that way Look the other way when you hear their neighbors beat their kids And you hear them scream bloody murder as they're being tortured Look the other way After all it's none of your business Is it
Workingman 02:21
He's a workingman, an uptight businessman He's got his medical plan and his 401k He's got his stock options and his Fannie Mae And he's gonna have a coronary anyday And he goes for it And he never quits And the boss has a big stick up his ass And he's got some crucial meetings to go to And he's constipated almost every day And he thinks there's too much government Especially when he's trying to rip people off Or when he wants to tear up on Mother Earth Those lawmakers don't know how much that stuff is worth And he makes bipartisan contributions So he gets both sides to do him favors And he lives in a gated community Where minorities are only seen on TV And he knows he'll have the boss' job someday Even though he knows that day is very far away And the chances of success is very poor But he keeps trying anyway 'cause he's very well trained And he wears a suit that he got off the rack Of the local establishment uniform store And he sits at his desk waiting for something to do And he knows he'll have a job 'til he gets downsized And he's got car payments and he's got bad credit And his ass is getting big and fatter everyday And he sold his soul for a salary When they drop him in the hole he'll finally be free...
You’re a chickenfucker, and you smell just like my dog Dirty whiskey sucker, just a lump upon a log Conscience full of sickness and your heart and mind are swill If your maw won’t fuck you then I’ll bet your sister probably will First I load my guns with clips in case I need defense Second comes your visit to my place of residence Third if you get fowl with me it really makes no difference If you came to fuck around I guess I’ll have to plow you down
Chief the Wino Really has his program down. He gets up in the morning, And he goes to the charity, And he gets his free hot meal, Then he goes back to the neighborhood, And he hangs out at the liquor store, Then he goes off and gets all drunk, Then he passes out in the park, Or an alley or a doorway. Then the next day he does it again And it’s the same thing but everyday it’s the same. Chief the Wino Really pisses people off somehow ‘Cause he won’t play by their rules. He won’t participate in their games Where the most toys gets respect And alcoholics belong in bars Every happy hour after work With a chance to have some miserable sex Not necessarily with your spouse. That’s the rules of society And the Chief is a criminal ‘Cause he chose the street. What’s the difference Between a street bum getting drunk And getting jerked around for minimum wage And going out and drinking every day To drink your paycheck to an early grave? You have a reputation to retain. But you’re just a wino With a roof stuck over your head. One heart attack or stroke and you’ll be dead And the Chief will still be here and the same. You’re just a wino, An over glorified wino, A socially acceptable wino. Who are you to judge your peers on the curb?
Well, well, well, here you go again Trying to pretend like you're my friend And kissing my ass just like you want to blow me. Just as soon as I walk away You turn to someone else and say I'm just a fuckin' chump and you don't want to know me. Being so two-faced Must be a hard thing to do. Bet it's a real pain. Glad I'm not you. Talk that talk and you talk your shit And then when somebody calls you on it You just shut your mouth or else you change your story. I refuse to play your game My statements all stay the same What you see is what you get is what I'll tell you To your face, motherfucker. Being so two faced Must be a hard thing to do. Bet you don't sleep well. Glad I'm not you.


released February 20, 2001


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Michael Psycho

"His songs aren't flashy, but the riffs and lyrics are awesome."

- Evan Minsker, Pitchfork

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